As amateur sports seasons come to a close and many of us non-intercollegiate athletes enjoy the occasional intramural contest to stay active, some engage in rigorous workout routines to maintain peak fitness levels.
However, as a recreational athlete (if anyone objects to that classification, feel free to let me know and I will amend) I like to tack on another activity to hone different aspects of competition: parlor games.
You know, the sort of games that you like to unwind with on the weekends whilst spending time with friends and family.
Let’s face it: These games require an inordinate level of hand-eye coordination some of us just do not have. Your typical bar athlete has mastered his or her craft in at least three of these five parlor games: darts, ping pong, foosball, billiards and with the advent of 21st century arcade technologies, Dance Dance Revolution (to be fair, I suppose Big Buck Hunter can be included as well).
I am sure many of you are shaking your head at the mere utterance of “athlete” with “bar,” but make no mistake, these individuals are not the type to cross at your local watering hole. What better way to parlay all your hard work at the gym into something you can truly boast about?
Everyone loves to brag about sinking game-winning free throws in intramural basketball or kicking a walk-off in kickball. Heck, even the men and women of intramural badminton love flaunting their swat stats.
But in order to really bring someone to his or her knees, there is nothing like a good old-fashioned butt-kicking on the pool table. Playing surfaces are limited in the greater Collegeville/St. Joseph area (a handful of dart boards and pool tables, only a couple foosball and ping pong tables and only one meager Big Buck Hunter), making skill in these games a premium if you want to get some practice in.
However, as I said before, it is important to combine these activities with regular involvement in intramural athletics and an arduous fitness workout. Take your pick; even the most lackadaisical of competitors can find an intramural league to call home.
If you are feeling squirrelly, dodge ball at SJU might be the ticket, or looking to connect with your former fourth-grade self, then check out whiffle ball.
In no way, shape or form am I suggesting putting all your eggs in one basket and leaving out your daily weight-lifting or cardio, because if there is one thing that improves bar athleticism, it is fitness and stamina. Once you achieve this trifecta, you will excel in all areas of life: career, academics, athletics, socialization, other things … but I digress.
If you are looking to impress that special someone this weekend, keep your athleticism well rounded; that’s how my dad (affectionately known as the “parlor master”) wooed my mom. Just remember, if you look good, you feel good and you play good.
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